History has been made here at Big Greek Schlongs as we honor our first six-time monthly award winner, G.K.
As many of our loyal readers already know, G.K.'s rocket-like ascension began with his Oscar nominated debut, Damn Bitch! Don't you Know I'm G.K.??!! This Internet sensation has been downloaded a record 592 octillian times. Historians were delighted with G.K.'s next offerings, which included Aristotle's Ass Party and Priapus: A Little History for that Ass. Known as the hardest working schlong in the business, G.K. then delivered Sophocles' Back Door Blast 1, 2 and 3 and the romantic comedy, My Big Fat Greek Schlong, which film scholars view as reflective of the legendary actor's transcendental period. These films were followed by G.K.'s epic period piece and first prequel, Heraclitus' Back Door Blast and the outstanding Pythagorean Theory of Triples. Not content to rest on his laurels, G.K. next dove headfirst into the political spectrum with the instant classic, Ruthorford B. Schlong.
The impact of G.K.'s success has been felt on a national, worldwide, and not surprisingly, on a universal level. The pandemonium surrounding the release of G.K.'s films has effectively shut down the Internet on several different occasions, has also caused global naval blockades and recently affected the Earth's orbital pull. To avoid another global crisis, NASA agreed to beam Ruthorford B. Schlong into space for all the galaxy to see. In addition to G.K.'s successful film run, he was also recently elected President of the United States, thanks to an unprecedented write-in campaign. Because of the time committment that G.K. devotes to running his global philanthropic charity and meat delivery operation, Daddy Greek Industries, he humbly declined the request to lead the country.
However, G.K. has just returned to the states, fresh off his latest global initiative, which focused on the eradication of dyspareunia, a common sexual disorder found around the globe. G.K. helped to lessen the impact of the disorder by giving millions of women medical-based lectures, as well as showing them pre-emptive practices designed to soften the blow. As G.K. states, "I told all these bitches to get ready. Then I showed them what real philanthropy is all about." Taking a cue from Al Gore, G.K. documented his travels in his latest series of educational films, Benevolence of the Schlong. Benevolence features red-hot scenes of G.K.'s legendary schlong, mixed with inspirational and highly informational PowerPoint presentation lessons.
Benevolence of the Schlong signals yet another peak that G.K. has mounted in his career, as the films have won our Big Greek Schlong of the Month the Nobel Peace Prize. The award reflects the "holding and promoting of peace" that G.K.'s films have created around the world. As G.K. eloquently stated in his acceptance speech, the formula for peace is simple. "When bitches hold up my schlong, armies stand down...and peace reigns."
We here at Big Greek Schlongs could not have put it any better, and again, we salute you, G.K.