Friday, October 3, 2008

Big Greek Schlong of the Month - OCTOBER


History has been made here at Big Greek Schlongs as we honor our first four-time monthly award winner, G.K.

As many of our loyal readers already know, G.K. literally and figuratively exploded onto the scene with his award-winning performance in Damn Bitch!! Don't You Know I'm G.K.??!! This Internet sensation has been downloaded worldwide a record 46 billion times. G.K. followed this groundbreaking success with the releases of Aristotle's Ass Party and the red-hot educational video Priapus: A Little History for that Ass. Initially released online, Aristotle's Ass Party completely shut down the Internet for 8 days. Admist Homeland Security concerns regarding Internet bandwidth issues, Priapus: A Little History for that Ass was released in theaters and stadiums worldwide. The film, which documents the life and times of the legendary phallic God Priapus, was viewed by 298 billion people worldwide. The staggering numbers of viewers traveling to witness G.K.'s legendary schlong caused traffic woes of epic porportions, including the shutdown of major highways, bridges and waterways. Only recently have the Mediterrean Sea and Atlantic Ocean been reopened for travel and transport.

Despite this unprecedented success, G.K. is not one to rest on his laurels. In fact, our Big Greek Schlong of the Month has just released Heraclitus' Back Door Blast, which G.K. views as a multi-layered period piece. "Yeah, a lot of younger girls showed up for the shoot." The Ephesian themed epic features G.K. giving a heartfelt oration regarding the Σκοτεινός — ho Skoteinós, which roughly translates to, "the being of my schlong."

Keeping his reputation as the hardest working schlong in show business, G.K. has also delivered another stunner, the red-hot Pythagoraen Theory of Triples. In Pythagorean Theory of Triples, G.K. and his legendary schlong both dispute Euclid's primitive theories regarding how a hypotenuse and a leg differ by a prime number greater than 2, as well as devouring several multiples of bitches. According to G.K., the math was simple. "I just lined up all the bitches on one side of the room and then divided the shit out of their integers...with my giant schlong." Triples again shows the cosmic reach of G.K. After viewing this epic, a team of mathematicians from all over the world have developed a new universal theory which explains the meaning of existence:

b = gk − 2b
g = 2bb + (2 gk2/b)
s = g+ k = 2bgs + (2s2 /b) + b

G.K. sums up the formula, "basically, my schlong plus bitches equals happiness." We here at Big Greek Schlongs could not have put it any better and again, we salute you, G.K.

1 comment:

MMMM said...

Genius, sext AND a huge schlong?? What's a bitch got to do to get a chance with such a delicious treat?